I:
A woman on her way home from market was carrying a duck. A drunk staggered up to her and said ,"Hey! where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replied," You drunken fool, that's no pig -- it's a duck!" And the drunk said," Quiet, I was talking to the duck."
II:
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"
III:
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She
replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."
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